{"id":20761,"date":"2023-11-15T14:19:26","date_gmt":"2023-11-15T14:19:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/leadership\/five-reasons-your-self-care-isnt-working-and-how-to-change-it\/"},"modified":"2023-11-15T14:19:27","modified_gmt":"2023-11-15T14:19:27","slug":"five-reasons-your-self-care-isnt-working-and-how-to-change-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761","title":{"rendered":"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, is the Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author of <\/em>Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work.<\/em><\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve been feeling stressed out lately you are not alone. Research shows that 55% of Americans feel stressed on a daily basis, with one-third of us \u201ccompletely overwhelmed\u201d by that stress.<\/p>\n

As stress mounts, many of us turn to that elusive thing we call \u201cself-care\u201d\u2014taking time out of our packed-to-the-brim calendars to (ostensibly) take some time for ourselves.<\/p>\n

But something is broken: As a society, we\u2019ve never invested more into self-care, however, we\u2019ve also never felt more stressed out. Here are five reasons your self-care isn\u2019t working and how to change it:<\/p>\n

1. You\u2019re showing up, but you\u2019re not actually showing up<\/em>.<\/h2>\n

A few weeks ago, I walked into a nail salon for a pedicure. As I sank into the chair, I turned to my right to see the woman next to me actively participating in a Zoom meeting. As I turned to the left, I saw a man\u2014also with his laptop open\u2014feverishly sending emails. In a culture obsessed with calendar optimization and productivity \u201chacks,\u201d we\u2019ve devalued what it means to be present for a single activity at any given moment in time.<\/p>\n

<\/fbs-ad><\/p>\n

If your nail appointment was your self-care time, but you spent it working, is it any wonder your self-care isn\u2019t working? Research from Harvard Business School shows that multitasking your way through self-care diminishes both the quantity and <\/em>the quality of that precious time and can leave you feeling even more <\/em>stressed than if you never took the time in the first place. Self-care only works when we show up fully.<\/p>\n

2. You\u2019re mistaking ‘maintenance’ for self-care.<\/h2>\n

As a coach, I often hear some version of this story: \u201cI\u2019m so stressed out and my self-care just isn\u2019t working. The other night I went to Target to buy toilet paper and have some \u2018me time.\u2019 I didn\u2019t take my work phone and nobody could bother me, but it didn\u2019t help!\u201d If you\u2019ve ever told yourself a version of this story, let me help clarify: Buying toilet paper isn\u2019t self-care. It\u2019s basic maintenance.<\/p>\n

Self-care is the act of nourishing ourselves so we can flourish\u2014not simply function\u2014and that distinction is critical. Saying that a toilet paper run is your \u201cself-care\u201d activity is like climbing into your car on a sweltering summer day and saying that you are going to \u201ctreat yourself\u201d to air conditioning. That\u2019s not self-care. It\u2019s literally not dying from heat stroke.<\/p>\n

Borrowing the metaphor, we\u2019ve got to elevate what self-care is from not dying of heat stroke in the car to meaningfully enjoying the ride.<\/p>\n

3. You\u2019re not scheduling self-care until it\u2019s too late.<\/h2>\n

One problem that we have is that our self-care is incredibly reactive<\/em>. We hit a wall of stress and then we\u2019re left doing damage control. That\u2019s why scheduling time for yourself to decompress and reenergize works best when it\u2019s done proactively<\/em>.<\/p>\n

In a busy work world where we stack meetings for eight to 10 hours a day, we need to take the same approach to well-being. Self-care takes planning, so open your calendar: Where can you schedule in daily pockets of self-care? Where can you claim some weekend time or plan something special that requires more lead time? Lock it in and commit to it the way you commit to a meeting with your boss.<\/p>\n

If your schedule is \u201cjust too busy,\u201d consider this fact: Research from Harvard Medical School concluded that showing up to work chronically exhausted had the same cognitive impact as showing up drunk. If you wouldn\u2019t rip three shots of tequila before a presentation, why are you letting yourself show up \u201cdrunk\u201d at work instead of budgeting the time you need to bring your best self to the table?<\/p>\n

4. You\u2019re prioritizing the wrong activities.<\/h2>\n

Just like any other relationship, sometimes we simply get into a rut… with ourselves. Instead of trying to do the same self-care activities that aren\u2019t yielding the well-being results you want (it was Albert Einstein who said the definition of insanity was \u201cdoing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results\u201d), consider reimagining what self-care looks like for you in this <\/em>phase of your life.<\/p>\n

There are four pillars of self-care:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Physical, <\/strong>which is how we take care of our bodies;<\/p>\n

\u2022 Emotional, <\/strong>which is how we take care of our feelings;<\/p>\n

\u2022 Intellectual, <\/em><\/strong>which is how we use our brains for anything that isn\u2019t work; and<\/p>\n

\u2022 Spiritual, <\/strong>which is <\/strong>how we connect to something bigger than ourselves.<\/p>\n

Maybe instead of running, the self-care you need right now is from the emotional pillar, like setting better boundaries in a relationship that saps your energy. Maybe it\u2019s as simple as physical, in that you just need more sleep instead of adding one more <\/em>thing on your calendar like a workout class. Today is the day to revisit these pillars and make a game plan to try something new.<\/p>\n

5. You\u2019re avoiding the core problem.<\/h2>\n

<\/strong>One reason our self-care fails, even when we\u2019ve done all of the above, is that we have a core problem that is deeper than our self-care routine. In my book, I tell the story of a start-up executive who burned herself out at work… all because she was avoiding facing a divorce. Overworking was an easy way to avoid asking herself the tough question: How do I get out of this marriage?<\/p>\n

If it feels like \u201cnothing is working,\u201d look around at your job and your relationships. What else besides <\/em>your self-care \u201cisn\u2019t working,\u201d and what are the steps you need to take to change that? This is a scary place to be, but a better quality of life waits on the other side for those who are willing to ask the question\u2014and engage with its answers.<\/p>\n

In a $450 billion self-care marketplace, we\u2019re surrounded by people trying to sell us the most absurd quick fixes for our stress. The key often isn\u2019t swiping our credit card, but rather making small tweaks to our habits to make our self-care routine more consistent and effective.<\/p>\n

Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?<\/em> qualify?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, is the Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work. If you\u2019ve been feeling stressed out lately you are not alone. Research shows that 55% of Americans feel stressed on a daily basis, with one-third of us \u201ccompletely overwhelmed\u201d by that stress. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20762,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-20761","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-leadership"},"yoast_head":"\nFive Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It | Brandiary<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, is the Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work. If you\u2019ve been\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It | Brandiary\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, is the Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work. If you\u2019ve been\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Brandiary\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-11-15T14:19:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-11-15T14:19:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/1700057966_0x0.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1353\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"900\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"News Room\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"News Room\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"News Room\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5062dafb0f932b59aa228f1a047332f4\"},\"headline\":\"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-11-15T14:19:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-11-15T14:19:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761\"},\"wordCount\":1084,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Leadership\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761\",\"name\":\"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It | Brandiary\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-11-15T14:19:26+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-11-15T14:19:27+00:00\",\"description\":\"Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, is the Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work. If you\u2019ve been\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/\",\"name\":\"Brandiary\",\"description\":\"Latest Business and Startup News and Updates\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Brandiary\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/b-logo-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/b-logo-1.png\",\"width\":381,\"height\":100,\"caption\":\"Brandiary\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5062dafb0f932b59aa228f1a047332f4\",\"name\":\"News Room\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/avatar_user_1_1688031660-96x96.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/avatar_user_1_1688031660-96x96.png\",\"caption\":\"News Room\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It | Brandiary","description":"Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, is the Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work. If you\u2019ve been","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It | Brandiary","og_description":"Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, is the Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work. If you\u2019ve been","og_url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761","og_site_name":"Brandiary","article_published_time":"2023-11-15T14:19:26+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-11-15T14:19:27+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1353,"height":900,"url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/1700057966_0x0.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"News Room","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"News Room","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761"},"author":{"name":"News Room","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5062dafb0f932b59aa228f1a047332f4"},"headline":"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It","datePublished":"2023-11-15T14:19:26+00:00","dateModified":"2023-11-15T14:19:27+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761"},"wordCount":1084,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization"},"articleSection":["Leadership"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761","name":"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It | Brandiary","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2023-11-15T14:19:26+00:00","dateModified":"2023-11-15T14:19:27+00:00","description":"Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, is the Wall Street Journal Best-Selling author of Something Major: The New Playbook for Women at Work. If you\u2019ve been","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=20761#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Five Reasons Your \u2018Self-Care\u2019 Isn\u2019t Working And How To Change It"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/","name":"Brandiary","description":"Latest Business and Startup News and Updates","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization","name":"Brandiary","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/b-logo-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/b-logo-1.png","width":381,"height":100,"caption":"Brandiary"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5062dafb0f932b59aa228f1a047332f4","name":"News Room","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/avatar_user_1_1688031660-96x96.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/avatar_user_1_1688031660-96x96.png","caption":"News Room"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com"],"url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20761","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20761"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20761\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20763,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20761\/revisions\/20763"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/20762"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20761"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20761"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20761"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}