{"id":12346,"date":"2023-09-05T09:54:59","date_gmt":"2023-09-05T09:54:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/leadership\/how-to-your-manifest-career-goals-and-let-go-of-people-pleasing\/"},"modified":"2023-09-05T09:55:00","modified_gmt":"2023-09-05T09:55:00","slug":"how-to-your-manifest-career-goals-and-let-go-of-people-pleasing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=12346","title":{"rendered":"How To Your Manifest Career Goals And Let Go Of People Pleasing"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Do you ever feel like, when it comes to your career, you\u2019ve lost the thread? Or maybe you feel so bogged down by all the day-to-day tasks and stressors, you sometimes feel disconnected from what you had really wanted to do when you were starting out? Has people-pleasing become your normal mode of operation? Does your perfectionism slow you down?<\/p>\n

If so, doing more or working harder at what you\u2019re currently might not be the solution you hope it is. Some inner work to help you visualize the work situation you truly want and get on track with decisions and actions that will get you there \u2014and letting go of that perfectionism and of trying to please everyone\u2014will actually help you move in the direction you want to.<\/p>\n

Homaira Kabir, a life coach with dual master\u2019s degrees in coaching and positive psychology and author of Goodbye Perfect<\/em>, says that the road to both personal and professional success\u2014involves prioritizing the type of inner emotional work that\u2019s easy to brush aside when we\u2019re hyper-focused on career.<\/p>\n

She explains, \u201cPeople pleasing gets in the way of living a fulfilling life because fulfillment comes from being true to ourselves, from showing up with the gifts our lives embody, and taking a stand for what we value regardless of whether others approve or not. Pleasing, on the other hand, is about living by other people\u2019s demands or expectations in order to win their approval or appreciation.\u201d<\/p>\n

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When you spend too much of our time in that \u201cpleasing\u201d state of being, Kabir says, \u201cit can hold you back in your career because you don\u2019t develop the skills needed to manage, inspire, and lead others when you\u2019re focused on avoiding disagreement or conflict. Nor do you develop a motivating long-term vision when you\u2019re driven by what others want or value.\u201d<\/p>\n

Some signs it may be negatively impacting your life, she points out, include resentment, anger, feeling unappreciated, disengagement, cynicism, and feeling empty or purposeless.<\/p>\n

Can you manifest a better work situation?<\/strong><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve probably heard about manifestation, but can you apply that to your work life? Absolutely, but Kabir is quick to point out that you need to be an active participant in your progress.<\/p>\n

\u201cPutting a desire out into the world isn\u2019t enough for it to come true,\u201d she says. \u201cManifesting helps you be clear on what you want, stay motivated when things get tough and see opportunities that you may otherwise overlook. But to get from where you are to where you want to be, you\u2019ll also need to develop certain skills, set up certain habits and overcome certain obstacles. Unless you\u2019re clear on what it looks like, and set yourself up for success accordingly, you\u2019ll give up on your vision when the motivation wanes, or you face obstacles, or the next shiny thing comes your way.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tune into your core values<\/strong><\/p>\n

Joanna Grover, LCSW, is an executive coach with nineteen years of experience as a cognitive behavioral therapist specializing in anxiety. A fellow of the Harvard Institute of Coaching, she was the first person in the United States to be trained in Functional Imagery Training (FIT), a combination of mindfulness, motivational interviewing, and cognitive behavioral therapy. In her book THE CHOICE POINT she shares how imagery can help you get through mental walls and make progress towards your goals by training your mind to act according to your core values\u2014not your impulses.<\/p>\n

Grover encourages using imagery to help you align with those values. \u201cImagery works in the space between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. This way, you begin with the big picture and then you can start to zoom in, noticing the details. As you embark on this journey of self-discovery, more questions will inevitably arise, which is normal and healthy. We have seen that people often stop short of taking action or persisting with a goal because they have an internal conflict. When you give yourself time and space to explore this conflict and what it really means, you can avoid that resistance.\u201d This helps you make more mindful decisions.<\/p>\n

\u201cImagery is more than visualization,\u201d she says. \u201cIt involves seven senses: the five that you are taught\u2014touch, smell, taste, sight, and sound\u2014plus motion<\/em> and emotion<\/em>. Motion is seeing yourself take positive action. Emotion is to the feelings associated with achieving your goal. Emotion drives human behavior. When you are triggered, you can imagine your goal and what it will feel like when you accomplish it. The negative image and emotion fades away since your mind cannot hold two opposing images at one time. It is the one that you elaborate on that will shape your destiny.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re not feeling super-clear on what your core values are, Kabir recommends asking yourself meaningful questions and waiting for the answers to emerge. For example, she says, when trying to tune in to which decisions to make, you might ask things like, \u201cWhat do I really want?\u201d What would I regret not doing? \u201cWhat excites me, satisfies me or makes me happy?\u201d She also encourages looking ahead to the future you want for guidance on what to do in the moment. \u201cImagine how you want your life to be 10 years from now, and what the right step toward it could be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Navigating transitions<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cTransitions are great opportunities for growth,\u201d Kabir says, \u201cbut they are also chaotic and uncertain by nature, and most people get anxious because we\u2019re wired to want certainty. We try to control a process that will foster the best results if allowed to unfold on its own.\u201d<\/p>\n

She offers a few tools for managing the anxiety, such as deep belly breathing, choosing a mantra to help yourself stay calm and positive or to do something that keeps you busy, such as cleaning out your closets or starting a creative project. \u201cYour subconscious mind will be able to do its work while your conscious mind is busy.\u201d She also highlights the value of speaking to yourself kindly, during these times. \u201cTell yourself you\u2019re going through a tough phase and treat yourself with tenderness and care.\u201d<\/p>\n

Negative self-talk is one of the greatest saboteurs to progress, Grover explains. \u201cIt often happens when triggered. As an example, you are up for a promotion and your performance review is coming up. As you prepare for the meeting, you start to doubt your leadership skills. You elaborate on these thoughts. They disrupt your ability to sleep and think positively. What is fascinating in our work and research is how people respond when you teach them that they can control the channel in their own minds. That is, they can quickly shift from negative thinking to problem solving with positive, goal-centered imagery.\u201d<\/p>\n

If those negative thoughts become amplified, Grover recommends tuning into your why for guidance. She also encourages surrounding yourself with people who support you. \u201cWho you spend time with and who you call when you are struggling makes all the difference in how you will feel and react to pressure.\u201d<\/p>\n

She adds that imagery can also be helpful for rehearsing successes and challenges. \u201cImagery gives you a way to navigate the ups and downs with more ease until it becomes second nature.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you want to make imagery a habit, she recommends starting with three or more minutes a day and linking it to a daily habit you already have in place. \u201cFor example, when your coffee is brewing or tea is steeping, take a deep breath and go into imagery mode. Imagine you day in multi-sensory imagery. Use as many senses as you can to experience the day before it unfolds, the potential challenges and opportunities. Imagine yourself navigating them with success.\u201d<\/p>\n

Show yourself some compassion<\/strong><\/p>\n

It is<\/em> possible for a recovering people-pleaser to recalibrate and tune into more self compassionate thought patterns.<\/p>\n

This one can be hard, Kabir acknowledges, but \u201cstart asking yourself what you really want. Most people-pleasers have spent a lifetime saying yes to others and don\u2019t even know what they want. If someone asks you which movie you want to watch, or what you want to eat, check in with yourself. Allow yourself to have an opinion.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re freaked out by the prospect of people disagreeing with you or not liking what you say or do, she adds, \u201cthat\u2019s okay. It\u2019s even healthy. Have a mantra or a plan for what you will do when that happens.\u201d And if that inner critic starts chiming in, \u201ctell yourself you\u2019re learning to say yes to yourself because that\u2019s your biggest gift to the world. As long as you stay by your own side, you\u2019ll get there!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you ever feel like, when it comes to your career, you\u2019ve lost the thread? Or maybe you feel so bogged down by all the day-to-day tasks and stressors, you sometimes feel disconnected from what you had really wanted to do when you were starting out? Has people-pleasing become your normal mode of operation? Does […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":12347,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-12346","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-leadership"},"yoast_head":"\nHow To Your Manifest Career Goals And Let Go Of People Pleasing | Brandiary<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you ever feel like, when it comes to your career, you\u2019ve lost the thread? 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