{"id":10267,"date":"2023-08-20T17:32:09","date_gmt":"2023-08-20T17:32:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/leadership\/the-secret-to-mending-a-messy-work-relationship\/"},"modified":"2023-08-20T17:32:10","modified_gmt":"2023-08-20T17:32:10","slug":"the-secret-to-mending-a-messy-work-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267","title":{"rendered":"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

So, you\u2019re tangled up with another person at work and aren\u2019t quite sure what to do next. This isn\u2019t uncommon! In all relationships, both personal and professional, you\u2019ll occasionally come to a place where you feel stuck and don\u2019t know how to move forward. An outsider\u2019s perspective can help. Allow me to be your coach \u2014 someone who can support you with skills, tools and questions that will increase your clarity and move you toward resolution.<\/p>\n

Sometimes people feel awkward, embarrassed, or may even think they\u2019ve failed because they\u2019re stuck or frustrated in a relationship. Taking time to reflect on what\u2019s happened and your part in the breakdown is brave and proactive.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s consider a framework to help you understand where you might be right now. I call it the Triangle. There are three positions on the Triangle: persecutor, rescuer, and victim.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 The persecutor thinks they must win at all costs. They control others through blame, criticism, and domination.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 The rescuer intervenes on behalf of the victim, thinking they must protect them from perceived harm.<\/p>\n

\u00b7 The victim thinks they are powerless and have no voice and no choice.<\/p>\n

<\/fbs-ad><\/p>\n

Any time you are upset, you have taken a position on the Triangle. Your job is to name where you are and then do something to get off the Triangle. Where are you on the Triangle?<\/p>\n

Now, to untangle the relationship mess.<\/p>\n

If you have identified that you are making another wrong, blaming, or criticizing (the persecutor), the action you could take is to give up the right to be right<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Reflect on what you are being so right about. Do you think there is one right way to lead or participate in a meeting? Do you think there is one right way to communicate? Do you think there is one right way to treat others?<\/p>\n

Now that you\u2019ve reflected, do you notice that, in most cases, your<\/em> way is the \u201cright\u201d way? In other words, you feel that people need to be more like you.<\/p>\n

What if you could give up just a small bit of your self-righteousness? This would cause a shift in the relationship. The bigger movement might happen if you could apologize to the person you are tangled up with for your own self-righteousness. This gets you off the Triangle.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019ve determined that you are intervening on behalf of a perceived victim \u2014 by taking action for them, by shutting down the persecutor, or by siding with the victim \u2014 then you are on the Triangle as a rescuer. The antidote to rescuing is to empower the victim to take action for themselves<\/em>. Support, encourage, or keep your mouth shut, but don\u2019t do it for them! Get yourself out of the middle.<\/p>\n

Finally, if you feel utterly powerless, down, or hopeless, it\u2019s likely you have taken the victim position. The way out of this position is to find and take one act of power<\/em>. This can be as simple as taking a deep breath and lightening up, or taking a walk around the block and distracting yourself from the upset long enough to gain a larger perspective. Make popcorn or a pot of soup. Talk to a friend.<\/p>\n

You could also take out a pen and paper and journal what you are feeling and experiencing as a way of neutralizing the events onto paper. One act of power is all it takes to get you off the Triangle.<\/p>\n

Once you are off the Triangle, the relationship begins to shift. It changes the dance between two people. And it only takes one of you to make this happen.<\/p>\n

Shift your focus. Change your actions. Can you look for the good? Can you find the gold in what is unfolding? What are you learning? What do you refuse to learn?<\/p>\n

This is the map of the territory for untangling a mess in a work relationship. Leadership means that you go first. You do the work to make things better. I know you can.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Read the full article here<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, you\u2019re tangled up with another person at work and aren\u2019t quite sure what to do next. This isn\u2019t uncommon! In all relationships, both personal and professional, you\u2019ll occasionally come to a place where you feel stuck and don\u2019t know how to move forward. An outsider\u2019s perspective can help. Allow me to be your coach […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10268,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-10267","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-leadership"},"yoast_head":"\nThe Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship | Brandiary<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"So, you\u2019re tangled up with another person at work and aren\u2019t quite sure what to do next. This isn\u2019t uncommon! In all relationships, both personal and\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship | Brandiary\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"So, you\u2019re tangled up with another person at work and aren\u2019t quite sure what to do next. This isn\u2019t uncommon! In all relationships, both personal and\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Brandiary\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-08-20T17:32:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2023-08-20T17:32:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/1692552730_0x0.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"811\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"News Room\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"News Room\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"News Room\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5062dafb0f932b59aa228f1a047332f4\"},\"headline\":\"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-08-20T17:32:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-08-20T17:32:10+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267\"},\"wordCount\":688,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Leadership\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267\",\"name\":\"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship | Brandiary\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2023-08-20T17:32:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2023-08-20T17:32:10+00:00\",\"description\":\"So, you\u2019re tangled up with another person at work and aren\u2019t quite sure what to do next. This isn\u2019t uncommon! In all relationships, both personal and\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/\",\"name\":\"Brandiary\",\"description\":\"Latest Business and Startup News and Updates\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Brandiary\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/b-logo-1.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/b-logo-1.png\",\"width\":381,\"height\":100,\"caption\":\"Brandiary\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"}},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5062dafb0f932b59aa228f1a047332f4\",\"name\":\"News Room\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/avatar_user_1_1688031660-96x96.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/avatar_user_1_1688031660-96x96.png\",\"caption\":\"News Room\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship | Brandiary","description":"So, you\u2019re tangled up with another person at work and aren\u2019t quite sure what to do next. This isn\u2019t uncommon! In all relationships, both personal and","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship | Brandiary","og_description":"So, you\u2019re tangled up with another person at work and aren\u2019t quite sure what to do next. This isn\u2019t uncommon! In all relationships, both personal and","og_url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267","og_site_name":"Brandiary","article_published_time":"2023-08-20T17:32:09+00:00","article_modified_time":"2023-08-20T17:32:10+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1200,"height":811,"url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/1692552730_0x0.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"News Room","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"News Room","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267"},"author":{"name":"News Room","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5062dafb0f932b59aa228f1a047332f4"},"headline":"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship","datePublished":"2023-08-20T17:32:09+00:00","dateModified":"2023-08-20T17:32:10+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267"},"wordCount":688,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization"},"articleSection":["Leadership"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267","name":"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship | Brandiary","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2023-08-20T17:32:09+00:00","dateModified":"2023-08-20T17:32:10+00:00","description":"So, you\u2019re tangled up with another person at work and aren\u2019t quite sure what to do next. This isn\u2019t uncommon! In all relationships, both personal and","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?p=10267#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Secret To Mending A Messy Work Relationship"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/","name":"Brandiary","description":"Latest Business and Startup News and Updates","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#organization","name":"Brandiary","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/b-logo-1.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/b-logo-1.png","width":381,"height":100,"caption":"Brandiary"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/5062dafb0f932b59aa228f1a047332f4","name":"News Room","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/avatar_user_1_1688031660-96x96.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/avatar_user_1_1688031660-96x96.png","caption":"News Room"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com"],"url":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10267"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10267\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10269,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10267\/revisions\/10269"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/10268"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mysourcefunding.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}